Changing the Pace

(Although our "campsite" for the present time has brought us to exponentially more comfortable arrangements, the everyday feeling of waking up in a new environment still gives me the "campsite" frame of mind. It's a good lesson in life.)

I've mentioned before that sister-in-law Ann brought me a book of devotions entitled Jesus Calling when I first set up the campsite at the ICU. Since then, I've come to read it every morning, and I many times marvel at just how accurate it is for me on its given day. 

Today as I was pulling sheets off my bed for laundry day, I started thinking about how much busier I would be at home. It was nearly 10:00--I would have an appointment for reflexology/Reiki coming soon. If Tom were sleeping, I would be preparing his lunches and a meal for his return the following morning. If he were on days, I would be thinking about what to fix for supper. Work clothes would be awaiting my attention in the laundry room. Carving out time to go to the grocery, returning calls, and working in a few salon appointments would have me intently looking at my date book. What about the garden? Weeding, no doubt, at some time, maybe in the evening unless I had evening appointments. And planning, planning, planning for the week ahead. 

And it's only Monday.

Here and now it's different. 

My focus is on that beloved kid in the next room that is, predictably, glued to his laptop. My job is to make sure meds are given, food is fixed and encouraged all throughout the day to get some meat back on those bones, to do our little bit of laundry, to miss his dad, to check in with the loved ones at home. That, a little bit of housework around here to keep us somewhat structured and giving back a little to all we have been graciously given. 

That's my focus. That's it. And I'm learning to slow down into it and, as the devotion I read today, find that it is a form of rest, not idleness. It's an odd feeling, but not an unwelcomed one. It gives me more time to think, to write, to think some more. I've been given a gift of time to focus. 

Will it change how I go about life when I return home? Maybe. 

I do hope that I will get less "mile wide/inch deep". I do love the business I'm in helping others, and look forward to getting back into it. I do love the garden. I do love to write. Those are more than likely my points of focus when I return. And, of course, I do love taking care of my family and making them a home. At first glance, it sounds like I'm right back to the manic-like pace of before. But I don't think it will be that way.

God has taught me a valuable lesson on slowing down and taking things one day at a time. I've been blessed with having the chance to see just how this works--I had obviously forgotten.

Life is good no matter the circumstance. Not always good at face value, granted--sometimes at face value it can be downright terrifying. But when we truly rest in God's hand, the reality of life changes and we see it from a much different perspective. I have no control over how all this will turn out; I can pray and work and love and do my part. And I can feel blessed each day for the lessons I learn. And, in turn, I can share that blessing with a loving husband at home alone more than not and a beloved glued-to-the-laptop kiddo in the next room.